Project Baba
Raising Two Boys in 2025
When I recently discovered I was going to become father to a second son, I felt a surprising mix of joy and weight. Joy because I knew exactly what I wanted to give them. Weight because I understood how much it matters. How do you raise two healthy boys in 2025?
Why This, Why Now
My own father was a difficult man. His influence on my life was destructive in ways I'm still untangling. So when I learned I'd be raising boys, my first thought was clear: I want to give them everything I didn't have.
But starting to raise boys, here's what I wasn't prepared for - the cultural battlefield we're in right now about what that means. On one side, voices calling for a return to old-fashioned masculinity, as if the past held all the answers. On the other, people so eager to reject tradition that they'd throw away everything, good and bad alike.
I believe there's a middle way, but it requires being intentional. We can't just float through raising boys, stumbling into whatever masculinity they pick up from the world around them. We need to actively shape it, thoughtfully build it, deliberately choose which values to pass on and which patterns to break.
That's why I'm starting Project Baba now. (Baba - this is the word for daddy in Acholi - my son's name for me.) Because my boys are young enough that I can intentionally build their lives, and because I can't find the spaces that navigate this complexity well.
The Community I Want to Build
This isn't just a newsletter - it's an invitation to think together about raising boys and what masculinity means in 2025 and beyond.
I want this to be a space for:
Parents raising sons and asking hard questions
Educators working with boys and young men
Anyone interested in what healthy masculinity looks like
This will be honest, sometimes messy, always thoughtful. I'll share what's working, what isn't, and what I'm learning from both my professional background and my daily reality as a father.
What to Expect
Publishing schedule: One or two posts a week, usually on a Wednesday
What you'll get:
Personal stories from raising R and L
Psychological insights from my therapeutic background
Reflections on modern masculinity and what it means
Guest voices from other parents and experts
Real questions without easy answers
About Us
Me: I'm a trained psychotherapist. I spent my first decade working in mental health and the criminal justice system, sitting with men at their lowest points, understanding where things went wrong. Now I work in HR and organisational change, but that therapeutic experience shapes everything about how I approach raising my boys.
I'm mixed race - Ugandan and English - and spent my own youth trying to figure out what being a man meant when the models around me weren't working. Now I'm raising my sons in East London - a creative, inner city borough - and as Black sons, that brings its own considerations. How do I keep them safe while letting them grow?
My wife: Julia - wonderful woman, my best friend, super smart and hard working. She plies her trade for a big tech company and you'll hear plenty about her here.
The boys:
R (2.5 years): Really curious, loves speaking to anyone who'll listen, loves cuddles, obsessed with vehicles and anything car-related, fascinated by how things work and dances to old school garage music like nobody's watching. He adores his grandma Emmy, his economist aunty Kilara, his uncle Mark (a barber) and his seven cousins!
L: Not much to say about him yet, but he kicks more than R! Arriving in January - the mystery boy we're all waiting to meet.
Join Me
This is Project Baba - my attempt to document, share, and figure out this journey alongside others asking the same questions. I don't have all the answers. But I have a lifetime of experience working with boys and young men, and now I'm putting it all on the line raising my own.
If you're interested in this conversation - whether you're raising boys, teaching them, or just care about what kind of men we're sending into the world - I'd love to have you here.
Looking forward to connecting with you all.